Review: Turbosnake – Cold Blooded
RFL Records (July 2nd 2021)
Reviewer: Jason Hopper
Turbosnake’s ‘Cold Blooded’ is a six song EP from a band that, as you may have guessed by the name, does not take itself too seriously. They seem to be a parody type band, similar to Steel Panther, but less obnoxious. If they’re not trying to be a parody band, then someone needs to advise them against buying wigs from their local Halloween costume store. I almost chose to pass on reviewing this album when I checked out one of their videos on YouTube. Low quality ridiculousness.
All that aside, the music performed is cliched, formulaic, and undeniably catchy. All six tracks have something to offer and I appreciate the diversity found in many of the songs. The album opens with ‘Turbo Lovers’, a fun little 2:46 ditty that’s short and to the point. No ground breaking lyrics here, but certainly lots of fun. Track 2 continues the party vibe with ‘Gas, Grass, or Ass’, a fun sing-along song made for listening while driving fast. This song would go down like a storm if performed live.
Then something completely unexpected happens. Track 3 ‘Road Warrior‘ is a full-on metal track. Imagine listening to a band that has a Poison-type vibe and suddenly transitioning to a Slave To The Grind-era Skid Row track. There’s also a great change up in the middle of the song. Rather than a traditional guitar solo, in its place, the band kicks into a heavy groove that will practically command you to bang your head.
Track 4 ‘Lightning In A Bottle‘ throws in a great keyboard melody for some mid-tempo melodic awesomeness. Even though lead singer Ryan Thomas sings at a slightly higher octave than is needed for the song, it’s still a great track and different from anything else on the album, while still being as catchy as the previous tracks.
‘Drinkin Tunes’ mixes in some blues and country influences that is similar to something Cinderella or The London Quireboys would perform and they pull it off with ease. Final track ‘Pit Viper’ utilizes European-style hard rock idioms to construct another type of catchy melody that closes out the EP.
In terms of any shortcomings, the band won’t be up for a Pulitzer anytime soon, but nothing within the hair metal scene ever is. They stick closely to what make the genre so beloved by many. It’s the type of album you can throw on and bang your head to when you want mindless entertainment and strong glam metal hooks.
One other critique is the production. It clearly sounds like an independent release. Quality wise, I think it’s similar in sound to Motley Crue’s ‘Too Fast For Love’ album. Certainly listenable and enjoyable, but sonically not on par with most other releases on the market.
This album was a lot of fun to listen to. I wished the band had more tracks to offer, but this is certainly a promising start. If you’re into hair/glam metal, this is definitely an album that needs to be heard. Yes, there is certainly a parody vibe going on here, and I would strongly advise against seeking out videos of the band, but that doesn’t bother me in the least. I can’t wait to see where this band goes in the future.
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