Review: Tarja – Dark Christmas

earMUSIC (November 10^th 2023)

Reviewer: Jason Hopper

I am a sucker for Christmas songs and albums. At this time of the year, I spend about half of my listening times listening to my Christmas playlist. It is filled with traditional songs as well as modern artists either doing the classics or brand-new tracks that in the far future will mentally bring me back to the moment the song was paired with a Christmas of a particular year. I remember where I was the first time I heard Trans-Siberian Orchestra or the absolutely PHENOMENAL live version of Little Drummer Boy by For King and Country.

All that is to say my curiosity was piqued by the news that former Nightwish singer Tarja would be releasing her own Christmas album. I had to check it out. What songs would capture my imagination and serve as a time capsule to the holiday moments spent with my family? Within 10 minutes of listening, I realized this was not a Christmas album. If Krampus is the anti-Santa, then Dark Christmas is the anti-Christmas album. It truly is a dark approach to traditional Christmas classics.

All songs are performed with orchestral instruments. Violins, drums, and lots of baritone. There are at times a choir of children singing or given words to speak and their contributions have a haunting approach to fit the mood. A concept like this could potentially work if one selects the correct classics to cover. Certain tracks can lend themselves to an ominous tone.The collection of songs selected here reveals the album’s greatest flaw. ‘O Holy Night’, ‘Last Christmas’ and ‘The First Noel’ are all songs that can be tweaked to fit into that dark, dramatic mould. However, I don’t care how foreboding the music is, any attempt to make a dark version of songs like ‘Frosty the Snowman’, Jingle Bell Rock’, and ‘Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer’ will always be met with fits of laughter. Who picked these songs and why did they think this was a good idea?  Why in God’s name would you try and pull off a melancholy version of Paul McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’? The lyrics, “Simply having a wonderful Christmas time” should never be sung with a menacing overtone. It makes zero sense and comes across like a parody.

The best song to come out of this is the one original track. The song ‘Dark Christmas’ caters to the orchestration, slowly builds and soars in the chorus, showcasing Tarja’s exceptional range.  It would have been a better approach to include more original material and drop the songs that should never be attempted in any approach but upbeat.

The only other song that offered something interesting to me was Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’. Perhaps it’s because I do not like that song, but the arrangement and execution are both interesting and creepy. It’s also the only track to feature a guitar solo. It feels like something she would have done with Nightwish.

This album is strictly for hardcore fans of Tarja and those who want to vent their misery of the holiday season through music. A Christmas album for masochists who hate Christmas.

This album is the perfect soundtrack for any upcoming Christmas horror movie or for playing to that family member you’re inviting over who is into both Goth and Christ…is that even possible?  I thought the Steel Panther album released earlier this year would be the comedy album of the year. I was wrong.

Tracklist:

1. The First Noel
2. Frosty the Snowman
3. O Holy Night
4. Dark Christmas
5. Jingle Bell Rock
6. White Christmas
7. All I Want for Christmas is You
8. Wonderful Christmastime
9. Last Christmas
10. Jingle Bells
11. Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer
12. Angels We Have Heard on High